Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so let's talk penis.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
