You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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