chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
