I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
