he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
