all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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