Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
