Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
