i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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