Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
