Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
