I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
