My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
