I must be too annoying 4 u.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
