So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
