Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
His nipple licking is glorious
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