I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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