Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
