no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
