I've blown a few things in my day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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