After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
