The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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