well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
