The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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