Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
