in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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