I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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