We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
