I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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