so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
