We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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