Having a random hookup so left but love u
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
