Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
