Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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