he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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