In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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