im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
