we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
