Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
