New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
