No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
