He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
God gave him joint rollers for hands
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
