You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
