pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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