ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
