What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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