I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
