1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
