I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
