quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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