I could have mohawked her pubes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
