We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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