sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
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