I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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