Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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