what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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